Hello Friends, Today is one of those days... I'm really missing the "old me". Today my hand strength is very poor, I even have a very slight shaking to my right hand. I never imagined that someday doing a load of dishes would be such a big task for me. Know what I did today? Unloaded and filled the dishwasher, that's it! WOOHOO! After doing that one load of dishes, I felt as if I cleaned my entire first and second floor of the house. Not having a very good day at all... Feeling moody, nauseated, stiff hands and muscles, my skin feels sunburned and hurts, migraine, muscles are killing me... Feeling like I have a very bad case of the flu but I don't it's my FMS. I'm so angry at it today... I feel like a thief has come and stolen part of my life and strength away. It's so damn hard... I can't open a damn bottle of water! Why must the bottling companies make the lids to water bottles smaller!? People like me or that have arthritis and other disabilities CAN'T OPEN THEM! Grr! I hate that I sometimes have to use devices to help me open bottles and stuff, I hate that I have in the past asked a cashier to help me open one of these bottles. I felt like I was a 90 year old woman asking for help to open a bottle. Embarrassing...
I am counting my blessings and I'm trying to fight this anger off. I am so truly blessed to have my husband, he loves me unconditionally and is so very understanding . He understands when there are nights I just can't cook, or that I can't clean the house daily like I used too. He shows me so much love... I thank him for being the amazing man that he is. It's very important to support your loved one, and help them as much as you can if they have a chronic illness. I'm blessed to have such a loving son, he tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and that he loves me. He tries to help me up and down the stairs when my muscles are hurting and don't want to work, and he kisses my headaches away, rubs my back, and he is always making me giggle at something. I love him for the amazing little boy that he is... He is taking after his daddy, so caring and loving. I do miss my old self though... I can't play with him like I used too... The pain is too bad. I still play with him... but I can't do things like run with him, or go on roller coasters, or play ball with him. I really miss all the things that I used to be able to do, and all of the things I used to dream of doing... I can't do many of them now. For those who are able... Go out there and live as much as you can! Do those things you've always dreamed of doing. Because you never know when the ability to do those things will me taken away from you.... I miss the old me. Well, time to let my hands and arms rest... They are done for now. Loves <3
No comments:
Post a Comment