Tears of Pain

So, I know it's been a LONG while since I last blogged. But, tonight I had to get to writing to help me through the pain tonight. Since January a lot has happened. I'm gonna run through this quick... What doctors thought was a sinus infection that I couldn't get rid of turned to many tests. In March it turned one year dealing with sinus infection like symptoms. I went to a specialist where I ended out getting a CT scan of my sinuses, he thought that he saw a tumor on my Pituitary gland. He thought I might have a brain tumor, or a tumor on that gland. I was sent to get and MRI of my brain and Pit. Gland. He was happy to let me know that I DO NOT have a tumor! and he is sending me to a neurologist. I've been getting daily headaches... and migraines at least 4 or 5 times a week for the past 4 months. One thing I did learn is that I'm allergic to the Los Angeles air quality... really sensitive to it. So, now that we are caught up... I'm gonna start off with how I'm feeling tonight.

I layed in bed trying to sleep, but the pain is too severe... Migraine again on top of the flare up thanks to the rain and cold weather... Winter came very late this year. Have you ever heard anyone say I hurt so bad that "My hair hurts" and wondered if that is even possible? Well, I can confirm that it is very possible. I lay there in tears in bed tonight because I can't get comfortable, My skin feels like a severe sunburn and my scalp is actually throbbing in pain. Feel it from my head to my toes.... I came downstairs because I didn't want to wake my hubby with my crying and my typing. Tonight I can't even lay my head on my pillow, I don't want to wear these pajama's but have too.... Doing these things hurt me.  I just pray to God for comfort in this storm.... If I can't be cured of this damn illness... Please help me learn to live with it better, and a few more light pain days a month would be good. I took some Aleve hoping it takes the edge off this pain... so I can at least get comfortable enough to fall asleep. This illness sucks! Totally sucks! It can be so brutal on a persons body and soul... I pray for a cure so nobody else has to go through this kind of pain. Fibro sufferers are always in some kind of pain everyday... it might be very light, or horribly severe like it is for me tonight.... Oopps! it's Morning now 1:10am!  I'm at a loss for words right now... can't think about what to type anymore. I'm just tired... So tired of Fibromyalgia. I ask that if you are a person of faith and you pray, that you pray for a cure and pray to for strength for us FMS sufferers. My hands are starting to cramp up in pain...   fibro has been attacking my hands lately too... Lovely, what else you going to rob me of FMS?

Fibro and Faith

Here I'm lying in so much pain
Thanks to the Fibro and the rain
I'm praying to God from heaven above
to make me feel his comfort and love

Please Lord make this pain go away
I cannot take it another single day
If you can't, I understand
Just make me stronger and hold my hand

I'll get through this journey with you by my side
You've always carried me whenever I've cried
Your love makes me stronger, and fills my heart with love
Father, I can do this... with your help from above. Amen

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Funny how a poem comes to my heart... and my writing is therapy... I think it's time for some sleep. Goodnight and sweet Dreams. Loves

-Tab